There is a saying, that I’m not bad-ass enough to say – (or even type) – but it came to mind as I read this article about an NFL quarterback missing the birth of his child to start in his team’s home opener:
“Don’t hate the player, hate the game.” Ice-T, the rapper, before he became an actor on the TV show “Law and Order” is credited as the originator of this quote. I would quote more from his rap, but that is about the cleanest line in the entire song.
Urban dictionary will tell you that this phrase means:
“Do not fault the successful participant in a flawed system; try instead to discern and rebuke that aspect of its organization which allows or encourages the behavior that provoked your displeasure.”
Now that, that is something I would say. And while logically I get that Joe Flacco was probably contractually obligated to play in that game and miss the birth of his child. That he and his wife probably knew the risks when they married, got pregnant, and he signed that million-dollar contract. That they knew it was a possibility he would be forced to miss many special family moments and they planned for that and Flacco’s wife probably had a whole support team with her for labor…
Another part of me is like ‘Really?!’ I couldn’t imagine my husband not being there for the birth of our child. I mean the whole reason you get married/commit your life to someone is that whole ‘life partner’ thing right? (And killing spiders and reaching things off high shelves for me.) What does it say when your ‘life partner’ misses a moment that will never happen again? Sure, there may be more children, but not that child, not that unique moment.
What does it say about society and how far we still have to go?
What does it say about family dynamics?
Again, I get that this was something the Flacco’s knew was a potentiality and prepared for it. But what does that say that we can convince ourselves that something that is not, will never be, “right”, is in fact OK?
To be clear, I am not saying that ALL men/partners must ALWAYS be in the birth room. I know for many cultures that is prohibited. But I am saying that for most cultures/societies the man/partner is in some way supporting his laboring partner while she is in labor, and if not there in the room for the birth is there moments after. And for the culture I write from, the American culture, it is the societal norm that the husband/partner be present with the laboring woman.
While my slant on this is pretty obvious, I’d like to know yours. What do you think of this new article: Joe Flacco’s Wife Gave Birth Sunday and Flacco Started Against the Browns”
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What’s your take on this article?
Under what circumstances is it OK for a person to miss the birth of their child? (obviously emergencies not included.)
Is it made more ”OK” because Flacco is being compensated a gross sum of money?
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Chandra is a Mom and Foster Mom. She holds a Master’s degree in Theology and is particularly interested in the theology of infertility. Chandra grew up in the Northeast but she and her husband are raising their daughter in the middle-of-nowhere Indiana. She has 3 chickens that drive her crazy, a huge garden, and a penchant for bacon. She occasionally attempts to make sense of all those things, and more, over at her blog, MetholicBlog. She never has a tidy house and she is in constant need of coffee.
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